Hello hello!

So.

I'm not AS constrained as I previously thought, but I'm still pretty sure I'm gonna be out of commish for a long time. However, I do have time now, and I'm gonna TAKE ADVANTAGE! So first of all, I wanted to talk about Moving In.

So yeah let's go there!

Moving in is relatively easy. I mean, sure, it's a bitch to put all your crap in boxes, lug them to a truck, drive the truck through DC traffic (or two times, the Lincoln Tunnel), lug them OUT of the truck, sometimes up many flights of stairs, and then take everything out of them while you sit there and go, "wait. Wait. What the hell is this and why did I keep it?"

Fun.

Moving In, however, is a Very Big Deal. As apparently, many of you know! Thank you ALL so much for your feedback (even the rando bits of Chinese? Korean? That were shared). And as most of you ALSO know, Grad School bF and I fake moved for a few months a few months ago.

And those few months are now up.

And as we get closer and closer to the move OUT date, both of us kind of clung a little tighter. I had Very Serious (and also, very awesome) Conversations with Anna, which convinced me that it was NOT time to move in with GSBF, but each time I'd come back to the home we kind of shared, I forgot all the reasons. It didn't help, of course, that GSBF was like "but I don't WANT you to go, how GREAT would it be for us to LIVE together."

Well, great.


Until last week. Last week was truly... horrible. On a bagillion fronts. My job was kicking my ass and school was... doing worse than that. In addition, my school (one of the two Catholic institutions in the DC area) has a nice little rule that you can't get birth control unless you have a medical reason (other than not wanting babies) because BCP are you know, baby killers and Catholics are against that.

Ugh.

Anyway, that meant my body was at the exact same time of everyone higher up than me in the world either being very disappointed in me or just demanding a lot (I prefer the latter, in case anyone was wondering), rebelling against the hormonal union.

It was really fantastic.

And who bore the brunt? Well, me. And friends who were luckily enough to get me at my worst points (so, my coworkers and Becca). But mostly? GSBF. In a big way. A big, fucking, way.

And I think I scared him a little.

Don't get me wrong. We're great. We're actually probably better for it, because he was SO supportive and SO wonderful, but it was the kind of wake-up call we both needed to be like, oh hey, life isn't always going to be wonderful and bliss and sex and gloriousness.

But there ain't no Moving In.

In our immediate future that is. We originally had been all, ok, let's ride out the rest of this school year, get real jobs, and then get a real nice apartment. So we're back there. And it's a nice place to be.

But buyer beware.

Moving In is not just sex on the kitchen floor. And it's not just waking up next to each other every day. And it's not just stealing each other's clothes. Sometimes, it's your girlfriend going so fucking crazy that you find yourself holding her head up because she's sobbing so hard...

... for the fourth night in a row...

that she can't hold it up herself. And sometimes, you're the kind of awesome dude who takes it in stride (eventually) and says finally, "baby, I think we should probably wait until May." And SOMETIMES.

Sometimes.

You're the girl who's lucky enough to be able to agree.

I'll try to be back tomorrow. I've got so much to say! So many stories! And I miss you all SO FREAKING MUCH! I will try. I heart you guys!

Deal breakers for moving in?

So.

I need all y'alls help. Grad School BF and I, as you all know, are currently crashing together until Halloween. Exceeeeeeeeeeeept.... it'sreallynicetolivetogetherandsometimesokmostofthetimesIjustdon'twanttomoveoutexceptwellIdobecauseIdon'twantolivehereanymorebutIwanttoliveSOMEWHEREwithHIM.

Got it?

Sigh. And I know it's super soon and stuff, but... hey! It's worked out this long, hasn't it? So I need your guys' help on telling me what to be looking for. I'll come back tomorrow and discuss further, for now I have to go to work, but please. HELP!

In my own little corner in my own little chair

So.

It's INTERESTING isn't it, how Friday means Sunday sometimes? No? It's not? Well I'm sorry, Friday was terribly rough, and all I could write was "kill me".

And I really didn't mean it.

So here I am, READY and RARING to go, all prepared to talk about!!! ... Bathroom floors.

I know. I suck.

But as you all know, I'm currently crashing in with Grad School BF (it's going very well thank you, more on that tomorrow) and we've had our fair share of minor tiffs over space, because he likes to rearrange furniture every week and I pretty much like it where it is. We've barely fought over the toilet seat, mostly because I've made it Very Clear that is to be down at all times, and he's been very good at both unloading the dishwasher, and telling me to reload it again.

It's not bliss, but it's real and I like it.

Except we have one problem that neither of us seem able to solve. Our bathroom floor is filthy. Well, that's rather unfair. One part of the bathroom floor, SPECIFICALLY the part between the toilet and the shower, is grimy and hair-covered and in general, disgusting.

The rest of the floor is just mildly dirty.

I'm not a particularly clean person (other than dishes in the sink. I can't STAND dishes in the sink. I can't stand doing someone else's dishes more, but seriously, it's a massive pet peeve) so I didn't really notice the accumulation until we had guests a few weekends ago and GSBF went about mopping the floor. When I went in to pee (sitting on the toilet seat, which was put down), I realized there was a dirty spot, so I grabbed the mop and tried to fix it.

And realized it couldn't reach.

I worked myself up into QUITE a sweat (another thing I don't enjoy doing) trying to poke that cleaning head into the dirty mess, but it simply didn't work. I got frustrated, kicked the toilet, uttered a few (ok, a lot of) obscenities, but still! It didn't magically disappear!

And then I called in GSBF.

He shared my frustration, he said, but there was nothing we could do. It was going to have to stay dirty. Well, I didn't particularly like that, I said. That's gross. He agreed, but was a little too laid back about it for me. So then I kicked HIM, uttered a few obscenities, and yet, the mess remained.

Funny how that happens.

After walking away and pouring him a nice glass of vodka for reparations, I started to remember that in my old apartment, we had the same problem. A strip of tile was exposed between the sink and the shower, and because of the spray from the shower, all sorts of nasty things resided there. Yet, because of the angles, there was no way to clean that area, save a leafblower.

Which I do not own.

And so now I'm annoyed. Pissed, really. With bathroom makers everywhere. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! Bathrooms are GROSS PLACES. People POOP there. And there's hair, and snot, and hair, and soap scum, and hair?! The most important thing to do is keep it CLEAN.

And you've done nothing to help with that.

I'm beginning to think there's a conspiracy between bathroom designers and those people who hawk fancy mops on the shopping networks. Maybe they went to college together. Maybe they're friends. Maybe they're married!

Maybe they just want to fuck with us.

But for now, I'm stuck staring at the gross space with utter loathing, trying to clean with a foul mouth, and running into the bedroom when GSBF wants to move our bed.

For the 16th time this week.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Kind of.

So.

First of all, thanks for all the lovely thoughts. I'm fine. I'm actually like, GREAT, like, better than I've been in a really long time, if not ever, and I hate that I can't share that with you all. No I didn't elope. Or get knocked up.

God. I HOPE not!!!

But as I said last week, something's come up that puts a little bit of a wall between you and me for the next few months. In the new year I'll be BACK and ready to GO.

But for now.

I'm going to try to keep posting, although who knows if that will be successful. I hope you guys stick around for the next few months. I promise you, it'll be mostly worth it. Three days a week of relationshippy, weddingy, snarky nonsense. And if you don't - I totally understand. I mean, dude, Lilu's enough for me too. But I'll miss you. And come back in 2010!!

Update: TOW

I just wanted to thank you all generally for the amazing advice about the other woman. To be clear, I wanted it to be SUPER WELL KNOWN that I have been this girl before - trying to pull the heartstrings of my ex to remind him why he was un-exed at some point. That's why I feel bad for her.

But.

Since at this point I AM the... woman? I'm annoyed at her blatant hinting. Maybe I should have learned this beforehand? Maybe now is the time to learn compassion. So the final decision is, feel bad for the girl, count my own blessings that I'm with such a wonderful guy, and give y'all big kisses for being so awesome.

XOXO.

The Other Woman

So.

I'm sorry I've been missing, Monday was a crap day as I said, this is my last week at my CURRENT job and I start my NEW one on Tuesday, and of course school started this week. In addition Grad School BF's brother has been staying with us the past two weeks, Maria was here this weekend (YAY!!!), and I'm going to Chicago this weekend for Amaryllis' wedding, which oh right I don't have a gift or jewelry for.

Sigh.

But I have a LOT to say and I just wanted to say it RIGHT so hopefully I'll try to write a few of these things down so you can have lotsa posts over the Labor Day weekend WOOHOO!!

So starting now.

I have a dilemma. Her name is The Other Woman. She's GSBF's big ex, you know, his HS Ex who is actually from college but you know. The first person he really fell in love with, the relationship that started when he was young enough to just FEEL things so STRONGLY.

You know who I'm talking about?

Anyway, he and TOW broke up about a year and a half ago, but until we started dating, they were pretty much still in relationship in which they just didn't have sex.

Which you know, is a relationship to SOME people.

But anyway, I don't stand for such nonsense, and also, completely independently of me (for sers, yo) he was like, this is destructive, we're not dating, it's over blah blah blah.

Yay!

So they stopped speaking for a month or two and then slowly started speaking again and she learned that we were dating. Or rather, that he was dating someone new, and then she figured out it was me because I was the (relatively) obvious choice (it was me or 3 other girls) and oh right, my facebook picture was a cute photo of the two of us.

Really cute.

Anyway, shortly thereafter he saw her when he and his brother were looking at schools up and down the East Coast (she goes to law school in NY) and they had a Big Talk about what this meant (our dating) for their future (um, wtf) and why he had cut her out and things like that. Shit didn't go down so well for TOW, because, oh wait, we're together now and that's just tough nogeys for her.

Noggies? I don't know. Remember that saying tho?

Anyway. Since then, chick's been all up in my grill, in ways that I am proud of, and um, not so proud of. Let me explain. She emailed GSBF telling him she was thinking of coming to the District this weekend to attend some jobby fair thing, and he said ok. She then asked somewhat cryptically if it would "inappropriate" for her to come. And his response was, if you're asking if it would be inappropriate for you to stay with me, then yes, it would be. And she responded, if i don't stay with you, I'm not coming.

And he said, guess I'll see you another time then.

I mean, massive points. The fact that he told me right after the exchange occurred only doubled the points. And the fact that we then made out a lot.

Well. That was just fun.

Anyway, I was very proud of him for many reasons. And then I did something maybe I shouldn't. So we've not had internet for a few days, and so yesterday he called me at work and asked me to sign onto his email account to check to see if he had a meeting then or later. I offered to have him tell my fave coworker Intern Laura his password so I wouldn't know it, but he was like "no no, it's fine" and then we figured out his meeting was later. XOXO, ciao, etc, I'll see you when I get home, right? And then I went to close his email.

And saw an email from TOW.

I paused, mouse hovering over the big X on Chrome. Slowly, I moved it away and let it rest on her email. The subject was "Remember?" and there was no text that there usually is in Gmail to let you preview the message. I felt a little sick to my stomach, and then decided - open.

I mean, it wasn't my shiniest moment.

But immediately I felt vindicated, because inside that email was a picture of the two of them from when they were dating, with I think her sister, all laughy and happy. I mean, maybe there's some special significance to it, but it seemed pretty normal-aw-aren't-we-cute picturey. And if so (I mean, I wasn't about to ASK him. I have SOME pride. Or, shame. Fear? One of those) then WHAT.

THE.

FUCK.

I'm not a fucking idiot. I've been TOW before. I've tried to worm my way into ex boys' lives when I knew their new SO would be out of town/office/country. I've sent reminiscent pictures to try to remind them of how happy we were when WE were together.

But I was more subtle than entitling them "remember".

And I felt for her, I did. It's hard when a relationship that was good ends for not painful reasons, and you're still close enough and you still laugh at each other's jokes and tell each other secrets and things like that, and then suddenly, the other person moves on.

I get it.

But seriously bitch STEP OFF. Like, I've been pathetic and sad but when the dude put on the brakes, I took what was left of my self respect and I moved to my own little corner and my own little chair and I did what every rational person does out there.

I started to hate his guts.

I mean, I'm not saying I want GSBF to stop speaking to TOW. They were friends for like, a fourth of his life, and a good portion of that was spent dating. Besides, I trust him implicitly, which is a WHOLE other issue we could talk about (ie, how when I think about how MUCH I trust him, it freaks me out a little), but in this particular situ, it's the best possible way to be. He's not going to break up with me and go back to her, he's not going to cheat on me with her while we're together, he's wonderful and lovely and all sorts of good things.

But I want this chick to cut it out.

What do you guys think. Should I not care? Or ignore it, at least? Should I be ashamed for opening up the email? No? Should I casually post a picture of us having sex as my new facebook picture?

I mean, I AM friends with my dad. Diff probs there.

I've been TOW (in a non cheating sense, I suppose) and it sucks. Should I just feel bad for her or leave it at that? Or should I launch a pass-aggro war to make my man dump her ass.

Tell me!!